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Suicide note from a 19-year-old mother imprisoned at Karnes with her baby

As originally published on McClatchyDC.  Note: ICE has just deported Lilian.  See story here.

“Lilian Oliva, 19, was discovered in a family detention center bathroom bleeding from cuts to her wrist. The Obama administration revived the controversial practice of family detention after tens of thousands of mothers and children fled Central America last year.”

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English translation:

I write this letter so you know how it feels to be in this damn place for 8 months

you don’t understand that people’s lives has no price a

you don’t have a heart for anybody you just lie and humiliate all of us who have come to this country for the second time if I do this is because only God knows what I have suffered in my country

I come here so this country can help me but here you’ve been killing me little by little with punishment and lies in prison when I haven’t committed any crime

what hurts me the most is that I saw how my brother was killed and how it’s hurt my son and all the abuse that we suffered in my country

you don’t believe me you never wanted to give me my freedom I do this because I would rather be dead than seeing my son fail along with me

maybe you are not fathers or mothers to understand the reasons and the suffering that we live in this place together with our children

you would not like to be locked up in a place like this the way we are here suffering with our children

what I tell you is that nobody lives forever in this world one day we are all going to die and give an account to God

I do this because I don’t feel any life going back to my country

that’s why I waited so long so you could take a decision on my case but you have treated us worse than an animal

you look down on us you don’t give us the opportunity that you give to the persons that come to this country for the first time you make us wait in this prison if we do not come the first time is because only us know the threats of violence against us

I spoke the truth some other people come for 2 or 15 days and they leave some others [REDACTED] is their first time they are given a bail and we just see how they leave

but for us nothing is given and I hope you understand that we all need a chance to have a bail to leave or leave with the shackle if there is nothing else

that’s why I do this because you were bad to me and my son we did not deserve this now you want to deport me after spending 8 months here

Note provided by the Refugee and Immigrant Center for Education and Legal Services, an immigration rights group